An actual excerpt from the questionnaire sent by the Obama vetting team to prospective cabinet members.

Office of the President Elect of the United States of America

Cabinet Appointee Questionnaire

1) Name:

2) Age:

3) Occupation:

4) Religion (select ONE):

A) Protestant

B) Catholic

C) Other

5) Secret Religion (select ONE):

A) Islam

6) Are you, or have you ever been, a member of the following (select all that apply)?

A) Democratic Party

B) Republican Party

C) Communist Party

D) Oprah's Book Club

E) Best Buy Rewards Program

7) With whom do you choose to pal around (select all that apply)?

A) Terrorists

B) Activists

C) Paris Hilton

D) Joe Lieberman

8) Community Organizers?

A) Like em

B) Love em

9) Please fill in the missing word: "God _____ America!"

A) Damn

B) Bless

C) Save

D) Hamburger

10) Are you married to William Jefferson Clinton?

A) Yes

B) No

C) It's complicated

11) If you were a tree, what kind would you be?

A) Sycamore

B) Oak

C) Maple

D) Christmas

12) When bitter, to what do you cling (select all that apply)?

A) Guns and religion

B) Prostitutes and cocaine 

C) My teddy bear Mr. Snuffles

D) The U.S. Constitution

E) My fading ideals

13) Favorite Roosevelt:

A) Franklin

B) Theodore

14) Favorite Lincoln:

A) Abraham

B) Nebraska

C) Logs

15) Do you drive an America-made car?

A) Yes!

B) Yes. . .

C) Only when it is politically expedient to do so.

16) Africa is:

A) A country

B) A continent

17) Please indicate the quantity of sexual encounters you have had with the following groups in the past six months:

Women           _____

Men                 _____

Transsexuals  _____

Animals  _____

Amoebae   _____

Robots   _____

18) Are you a:

A) PC

B) Mac

19) Which Name + Occupation best describes you (Select ONE)?

A) Joe the Plumber

B) Bob the Builder

C) Larry the Cable Guy

D) Thomas the Tank Engine

E) Mack the Knife

F) John the Loser

20) May we contact you with special offers and third-party promotions?

A) Yes

B) No