Friday, February 27, 2009

That is NOT "Howie" do it...

Listen, Howie Mandel... I was okay with you hosting deal vs deal, or who wants to be a banker... or whatever the hell that show was called.... but your latest endeavour? Please stop.

thanks.

Oh, and I did spell "endeavour" with a u. That's how strongly I feel about this issue.

Stop. just stop. Now.

thanks again.

Monday, February 9, 2009

I'll stimulate YOUR economy

Dear Republicans:

I know a lot of you are worked up about this stimulus package, going on about how it will be a "disaster" and calling it the "greatest theft perpetrated on our future generations."  With all due respect, shut up.  Thanks.

Listen.  You guys do know that you lost, right?  Usually, that's a sign that people are, um, upset with what you've been doing.  Namely, your policies.  They suck.  I know you like tax cuts... especially when they go to rich people.  But, tax cuts don't stimulate the economy.  70% of our GDP is consumer spending.  Consumers aren't spending, banks aren't lending.  People have lost jobs, and lost savings.  Sometimes, you need the government to act when consumers won't.  

Let me give you an example:
Imagine you're a.... plumber.  You're having some tough times.  Sure, you've been able to supplement your income by moonlighting as a political anylist (as all plumbers do from time to time), but you're still having trouble paying the bills... so you have to lay-off one of your workers... let's call him, Bill the Unemployed.

Bill has a family of 4 (Jane the Wife, Jimmie the Boy, Suzie the Q... oh, and Juanita the Undocumented Housekeeper).  Jane the Wife, a teacher at a public school, is now the sole bread-winner for the family (everybody likes winning bread).  But, because she's a teacher--and school funding is for commies--she doesn't make enough to feed her family.  Sad, I know.

Then, one day Bill gets a check in the mail.  It's a tax refund.  Now, Bill could use this $300 to buy that Blu-Ray player he wanted.  OR, Bill could save it to offset the pension that he now no longer has.  Which do you think Bill is going choose?

See, therein lies the problem with tax cuts as an economic stimulus.  Tax cuts only work to stimulate the economy if the tax cut is spent by the consumers, and not saved/used to pay off debt.  Last spring, only about a third of Bush's tax rebate was actually spent.  Not a very effective stimulus, is it?

What about business tax cuts?

Let's say you're... um... someone who owns a store that sells annoying political cliches.  You get a tax break from the government to expand your cliche business.  Just one problem: no one is buying your annoying political cliches?  Are you going to take that tax money, expand your business, hire more people, and make more annoying political cliches that no one wants to buy?  Not if you actually plan to stay in business.  Supply and demand, boys... Supply and demand.

See, tax cuts don't work.  They sure do make you feel warm and fuzzy inside (and a payroll tax reduction , but they don't stimulate an ailing economy.

So what should we do?  How about we take the opportunity to rebuild some schools?  Making buildings more energy efficient would be a great idea, AND it would save money in the long run.  Oh, you know that energy crisis thing?  Man, wouldn't it be great if there were someone out there to pay people to make windmills and solar panels?

Look, John Maynard Keynes was right, and you're wrong.  Deal with it.  Spend money now, when no one else can... You might just save what little economy we have left, and make America a better place along the way.