An Amerikajin in Toyotashi, Part San

Day 3,4

Apparently dining in Japan is a lot like being a contestant on "Fear Factor." I've eaten sparrow. I've eaten what may or may not have been living squid. I've eaten Yuba with sea urchin sauce and salmon roe (ovaries). Delicious, all of them.

I would be the worst "fear factor" contestant ever.

Cars in Japan are quite different. They have two categories: one for normal cars, one for really tiny "kei" cars. The Kei cars are small, powered by engines of less than 1 Litre displacement, and don't even come close to meeting any safety standards. I want one.

Working with a considerable language barrier is somewhat difficult; my new favorite word is "wakarimasen" (I don't understand). I have a Japanese phrase book... Unfortunately, there are surprisingly few phrases related to making bumpers in that book.

Day, um... I'm finishing this a good 3 weeks since returning from Japan... Overall, the trip was good... minus the being stuck in detroit for 8 hours. I hate you, Delta.

Didn't find a Jinglish t-shirt for Leigh... guess that means I'll have to go back.

Oh... important lesson learned: Never drink with Australians--in ANY country.

An Amerikajin in Toyotashi, Volume II

21:49 June 16.

Woke up early today to lound, unfamilar sounds. Might have been a godzilla attack. CNN International reported none.

Met a frenchman today. Thought about conversing in french, but decided the odds of our conversation dipping into "Ou est la biblioteque" were slim at best.

Worked all day. Motomachi plant is huge. The doors are all very polite--they greet you with a delightful female voice.

Bumpers did not go well. I demanded we try again tomorrow. It is hard to not look like an asshole when you are making request in a foreign language.

Ate at what I'm sure is the number one foreign bar in all of Toyota City. Kevin's is owned by a husband and wife team... they are delightful. I ate the sparrow and the squid. Kevin suggested I man not, in fact, be american. He suggested I was an alien instead. He might be right.

Sparrow tasted crunchy and adorable. I hope it was the same bird that followed me around CVG and DTW. take THAT, bird.

Japanese beer is surprisingly potent... and delicious. I think I'm going to bed.

sayonara.

An Amerikajin in Toyotashi, day 1

It's 21:12 (9:12 PM), Monday, 15 June, 2009.

Arrived yesterday evening. 13 hour flight was... ok. I think my seat was made of plywood. Chose not to watch the movies ("He's Just Not That Into You" and "Hotel for Dogs"). Watched "Juno" on my iPod--great movie. Managed to get from Airport to Hotel without causing international incident. Good Job.

Hotel is very nice. Room is tiny, but with good view of the sprawling Toyota City below. I think room may be a robot. Bathroom is nice. Toilet is a another robot. Small control panel on side of toilet controls heated seat, "bidet", "spray", and water pressure. There is a warning sticker on my mirror... It is written in Kanji, so I cannot read. I assume it says "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear."

Shower head is level with my nose. Also, I have two bottles of ambiguous hair care product: Hair Tonic and Hair Liquid. One is blue, one is green.

Hotel has beer vending machine. I will use this.

Had a "free" day today, spent mostly reviewing paperwork and talking online to new friend Amanda. Watched CNN International, decided all news anchors should have english accents. Had a sandwich for breakfast--I think it was 80% mayonaise. Delicious.

Went for a walk/food hunt around noon. Tall, white, hairy guy with sunglasses blends right in... Bought some pens (co-worker said Japan has neat pens). Ate something with noodles and what may be pork. Delicious. Stopped by convenience store--much creepy Japanese porn on display. Very convenient. Bought some "Black Black" chewing gum with "Hi-Technical Excellent Taste and Flavor." Tastes like a mint fist punching you in the face, followed by a soothing herbal flavor. "Hi-Technical," indeed. Robot status of chewing gum pending judgement.

Found a Japanese toy story--I will go there. Goodbye money.

Took an epic nap. It was nice.

Tomorrow is first day of bumper trials. The excitement will never end.

Weather says high of 26 deg C with 60% chance of thunderstorms in the afternoon. 30% chance of Mothra attack.

Best news headline ever.

CNN reporting:

2 dead, 1 missing after Slim Jim plant blast.

-This is why I don't eat slim jims.

I give a completely professional, unbiased review of the new Palm Pre smartphone.

OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN THIS IS SOOOO AWESOME. LOOK HOW COOL IT IS IT'S ALL BLACK AND SHINY AND FITS IN THE PLAM OF MY HAND PLUS IT MULTITASKS AND HAS GPS AND WI FI AND COMBINES ALL OF MY CONTACTS FROM GOOGLE, FACEBOOK, ETC. SUPER AWESOME YEAH WOOHOO AWESOME. SUCK IT IPHONE.