Ways in which the world will NOT end, according to the movie "2012"

1. Gay Marriage

2. Giant radioactive arctic spiders

3. Single-Payer health care systems

4. The 2nd Coming of Christ

5. 16 year old girls getting dumped

6. The 3rd Coming of Christ

7. Cap and Trade legislation

8. Teenage pregnancy pacts

9. Giant Mayan bird-god thing

10. Plausible scientific phenomena