Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Huckabee Confessions?

Breaking news from the Republican National Convention.  Mike Huckabee just made a startling revelation about his past--especially when taken out of context.

"It wasn't until college that I found out that it's not supposed to hurt when you take a shower."

Other highlights:

McCain was a POW. 

"He can't even lift his arms above his shoulder," Huckabee on McCain.

Obligatory mention of "Hope, Arkansas" in Mike Huckabee's speech.

Oh, there's a black guy!

Mike Huckabee promises John McCain will let you have as much or as little air in your tires as you want.

Guy dressed as Abraham Lincoln? check.

Republicans like cowboy hats.

John McCain PERSONALLY fought the VietCong for Mike Huckabee's school desk. True story.

Mitt Romney successfully accepted the GOP nomination for president in 2012.

Mitt Romney mentioned Ronald Regan.

Mitt Romney is kind of a dick.

Mitt Romney doesn't care, he's gonna go be president of his own country.

My cat is meowing. A lot.

Hawaii's governor is a woman and a Republican.  Apparently she was too qualified to be vice president.

Sarah Palin gave a speech about energy (read: oil) AND gave birth to a baby in the SAME DAY.  (Beat that, Biden!)

The Republicans are shouting "zero."  I'm not really sure why.  I kinda zoned out and started reading my friend Eli's blog- Link

Sarah Palin's term as mayor of Wasilla, AK and 20 months as governor makes her qualified to be President--more qualified than John McCain.

"You can fit 200 states the size of Delaware in the state of Alaska." (Take THAT, Biden!)

"Sarah Palin can reach out to independents, young people, and women" by being staunchly against everything they stand for.

Washington is broken... McCain has been meaning to fix it... he just hasn't gotten around to it yet.

PBS likes talking to historians to place tonight's speeches in an historical context.  pinkos.

Woah... another black guy.

Rudy Giuliani mentions "liberal media."

Obligatory "USA, USA" chants.

Rudy Giuliani mentions Ronald Regan.

Rudy Giuliani is making fun of Barack Obama "working" as a "community organizer"

Rudy Giuliani is kind of a dick.

Hey, there's an old white guy.

"Hope is dumb" -Rudy Giuliani (paraphrased).

Rudy Giuliani thinks all followers of Islam are terrorists?!?

Rudy Giuliani mentions 9/11 (WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)

Rudy Giuliani mentions Ronald Regan.

Being popular makes you qualified for president--but only if you're a republican governor.

Sarah Palin's husband races "snow machines."

ugh... I can't do this.

1 comment:

eli sairs said...

at first i felt kinda bad for missing the convention, but you've clearly chosen all the neccessary highlights. i consider myself filled in. thank you, sir.